Trump: World’s Worst Super Villain

There have been many efforts by our nation’s press corps to postulate a Theory of Trump both before and after the 2016 presidential election. He’s tired! He’s Bannon’s tool to destroy the state! He didn’t really want to be president!

And all that’s probably true. But it’s possible to string together a complex web of theories that all point to one concept capable of absorbing each of these theories and more- Donald J. Trump is a Shitty Super Villain.

Good super villains evenly match and sometimes mirror their adversaries. Batman’s calculation and logic is met with chaos and psychological manipulation in the Joker, Superman’s cheesy selflessness and wholesomeness challenged by the greed and decadence of Lex Luthor, Professor X’s mission of coexistence and tolerance matched by the heighten-the-contradictions philosophy of Magneto, and so on.

Trump, a pretty obviously racist and greedy asshole who has nonetheless become history’s most successful popularity contest loser, has long focused his villainy on people less able to defend themselves, like children, small-business owners, and young women. But if I wrote up a scenario where the Trump Organization skimmed money from a child cancer charity as a fictional story, it would be dismissed by publishers as far too on-the-nose:

The best part about all this, according to Eric Trump, is the charity’s efficiency: Because he can get his family’s golf course for free and have most of the other costs donated, virtually all the money contributed will go toward helping kids with cancer. “We get to use our assets 100% free of charge,” Trump tells Forbes.

That’s not the case. In reviewing filings from the Eric Trump Foundation and other charities, it’s clear that the course wasn’t free–that the Trump Organization received payments for its use, part of more than $1.2 million that has no documented recipients past the Trump Organization. Golf charity experts say the listed expenses defy any reasonable cost justification for a one-day golf tournament.

Additionally, the Donald J. Trump Foundation, which has come under previous scrutiny for self-dealing and advancing the interests of its namesake rather than those of charity, apparently used the Eric Trump Foundation to funnel $100,000 in donations into revenue for the Trump Organization.

And while donors to the Eric Trump Foundation were told their money was going to help sick kids, more than $500,000 was re-donated to other charities, many of which were connected to Trump family members or interests, including at least four groups that subsequently paid to hold golf tournaments at Trump courses.

Donald Trump, aspiring super villain. And like most of his ventures in life, be they marriages, real estate projects, or terrible designer vodka, he’s really shitty at it.

“A Free and Fair Exchange of Ideas” – A Brief 1-Act Play

Scene: The town square of Peasantville, USA

A group of fascists and nihilists have gathered opposite a similar number of protesters. The latter hold signs with messages like “#Impeach!” and the definition of an emolument

PROTESTERS (chanting): Hey Hey! Ho Ho! Donald Trump has got to go! Hey Hey! Ho Ho! Donald Trump…

FASCIST MOUTH-BREATHER: Hey, git yer ‘Murica hating asses out if you don’t love this country’s president!

PROTESTER: You don’t understand, man, this guy is going to burn down everything!

FASCIST: I dun know nuthin’ bout nunna that, but I know he’s gonna put dem furriners and negroes in their place, and make ‘Murica great again! (adjusts his red MAGA hat with satisfaction)

PROTESTER: So you’re just a racist piece of shit then, straight up? Go f*** yourself.

NIHILIST: Excuse me, but why do you hate free speech?

PROTESTER: Excuse ME! What are you talking about, I’m in the middle of a protest!

NIHILIST: Oh, I must have misheard you. I could have sworn you told my associate here to go f*** himself.

PROTESTER: Well, yeah, I did. He’s a racist piece of shit, after all.

NIHILIST: So, you aren’t interested in what he has to say?

PROTESTER (agitated): C’mon, dude, this isn’t the sa-

NIHILIST: I thought you believed in free speech! We are two citizens here, you and I, and I just want to have a conversation with you. Now, are you aware that nine out of every ten crime victims is white, and nine out of every ten criminals is non-white?

PROTESTER: Well, no, I didn’t know that because it’s not-

NIHILIST: And did you also know that hundreds of college campuses have begun rolling out campus speech codes and trigger warnings in their syllabi? And that wages would be 89% higher without illegal immigrants taking jobs away from REAL Americans?

PROTESTER (overwhelmed): That all sounds like total bulls-

NIHILIST (becoming more animated): Don’t interrupt, you liberals have been silencing conservatives for long enough!!! My associates have brought along a wealth of literature to educate people on the depravity and corrupting nature of various ethnicities, complete with color-coded charts mapping particular deficiencies to particular races! We have facts and figures, credible journals, EVIDENCE, man! And we demand a free and fair exchange of ideas!

PROTESTER: Well, I suppose that would be alright, I’m totally convinced of the rightness of my position, and I suppose more debate is always good! Let’s set this up! Alright gang, pack it in. We’re going to need to set up a couple podiums and a sound system- it’s time to take racism head on in the marketplace of ideas!

The protest begins to disperse, slowly, with many attendees visibly confused about what just happened. A moderated debate is held between the FASCIST and the PROTESTER, with the audience scoring a virtual tie. It’s broadcast on the Internet, and gives the impression to young potential fascists at home that being a racist and authoritarian piece of shit is a legitimate political viewpoint worthy of discussion. 

After the debate, NIHILIST starts several fires around the venue and sleeps soundly that evening.

(I really like it when Roy Edroso does stuff like this, so all credit/blame to him for inspiring me.)

 

 

 

Glorious Meritocracy: We Need Better Punditry, Bret Stephens Edition

Here at the Dissident Peasant we are sometimes asked why we pursue this little enterprise. Isn’t the Internet just chock full of political opinion already? Don’t we know that there are very rich, educated people white men who are already paid millions of dollars a year for their opinions?

True! And the answer is simple: they are really fucking bad at their job.

Continue reading “Glorious Meritocracy: We Need Better Punditry, Bret Stephens Edition”

From Citizen to Peasant: Working Hours

Not only has our economy not progressed, we’ve actually been backsliding away from this old slogan.

My corporate overlords have deemed it necessary to have me work a turnaround, so despite having arrived home a few moments ago, I need to be back in just 8 short hours. But I thought I would take this opportunity to note another aspect of modern peasantry in the United States- the theft of time.

Most regular people are familiar with our betters habit of tricking or scamming peasants out of their money; everything feels overpriced, and marketing for anything that promises a better future all too often turn out to be fraudulent. But it’s also true that our feudal lords simply don’t care about peasants quality of life- we frequently expect low-wage workers to remain on the clock without breaks for 8-12 hours at a time, and also frequently have them work irregular hours without enough rest in between.

It’s just one more factor on top of the low pay, hard labor, and lack of vacation/sick leave/health insurance that make work for the little guy difficult, and its one condition that makes this peasant feel pretty dissident.

Trump Pledges to Destroy World for Inexplicable Reasons

Above: President* Trump

It may surprise some readers to learn that we here at The Dissident Peasant believe that climate change should be considered the top issue of all of humanity, from the littlest guy to the most powerful lord. Through industrial activity human beings have rendered themselves capable of turning the earth into a desert, and stopping ourselves from doing so simply must be done!

But opponents to this pretty simple peasant-focused risk assessment have thousands of petty objections and perfectly irrational reasons to support their position. The classic “It isn’t happening!” remains popular (if less so than in recent decades), but its cousin “it’s happening but it will mostly be a wash” has appeared, and gems like “it’s too expensive” and “China and India aren’t going to help anyway so…” have hung around.

However, the man currently illegally occupying the office of the presidency in the United States has introduced a new reason into the annals of debate: !?!?!?!?

Continue reading “Trump Pledges to Destroy World for Inexplicable Reasons”

From Citizen to Peasant: The 2016 Election

“We must make our choice. We may have democracy, or we may have wealth concentrated in the hands of a few, but we can’t have both.” -Justice Louis Brandeis (chart from inequality.org)

You may or may not have heard, but the political environment in the United States has recently undergone what some would refer to as “some changes”, but what I would refer to as “Holy shit everything is on fire!” There’s an open racist and fraudster occupying the office of the presidency, and he’s being enabled by all kinds of…well, just really awful people.

How this came to be is a complicated question. The razor-thin margin of victory means that if any one of a number of factors had been different (Comey, voter suppression; there are others), the other candidate would have won. But one way to describe what happened in the 2016 election is that for the second time in 16 years the candidate who received fewer votes than an opponent assumed the office of president, and the other two election victories were awarded to an orator and leader with extraordinary political talent.

Continue reading “From Citizen to Peasant: The 2016 Election”

“Suck. On. This.”

This guy is paid tens of millions of dollars for his ideas. MERITOCRACY.

Dissident peasants have to work just the same as contented ones, so it’s a shame that I didn’t manage to get this out on Monday for the anniversary, but on 5/29/2003, billionaire anti-peasant propagandist Thomas Friedman managed to put together a direct and concise explanation for the invasion of Iraq (after 2 and a half minutes of spinning bullshit into gold-colored bullshit):

Continue reading ““Suck. On. This.””

Texas Thug Calls Modern-Day Brownshirts on Protesters

Texas State Rep. and violent thug in an expensive suit Matt Rinaldi.

Leading up to the election of Donald Trump, some leftists contended that a Clinton presidency would be every bit as bad, and possibly worse, than a Trump one. Some still contend this. But fascism is here, it’s real, and it’s actively ruining people’s lives- it’s no longer a hypothetical we’re measuring against a nearly certain Democratic administration:

A Texas Republican threatened to “put a bullet in one of his colleague’s heads” during a scuffle on the House floor over the state’s new anti-‘sanctuary cities’ law on Monday, the final day of the regular legislative session.

Representative Matt Rinaldi, R-Irving, made the comment to Representative Poncho Nevárez during a dispute that began when Rinaldi told two Hispanic lawmakers that he called Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) on Senate Bill 4 protesters at the Capitol.

Continue reading “Texas Thug Calls Modern-Day Brownshirts on Protesters”

Seeds, Mighty Oaks, Single Steps and Thousand-Mile Journeys

You’d think beginning would be easier. The Internet and modern media have made it easier than ever before for the common person to both produce and consume content; access to information and the boundless editorial and cultural products that result have blossomed into countless little plots of differing hue and composition. To start a blog in such an environment should be a relatively easy endeavor for an opinionated sort of guy, which is one thing that I am.

But it isn’t. Countless plots have indeed developed, but the largest gardens of corporate/cable news and radio are full of fetid and dangerous hate, weeds choking any sense of community or compassion among human beings, bland and unenlightened acres of false-equivalency and institutionalism, with a few bright pockets of reason and justice finding their way to the sunlight. Smaller, yet more noxious and disgusting tracts are filled with actual fascists and sociopaths, and smaller still there are gardens where caring about both what is true and what is right are still in fashion. This final category is what I endeavor to add something to, but whether I create honey or poison, it will be a drop in an endless ocean. What kind of point is there to any of that?

To be honest, I don’t know. But I do know there are some ideas and people worth preserving and defending, and while concepts and ideals like democracy, secularism, the rule of law and shared humanity have never been safe, they are under attack like never before. So count me in.

I’m the Dissident Peasant. I’m no one of great wealth, status, or fame. I’m not overly-educated or greatly skilled at anything in particular. I’m a common man with a common job that doesn’t pay me enough, but I’m no fool. I know that the economic and political domination of people like me and millions others is ongoing and increasing, that there are plenty of rich people in expensive clothes who prefer things that way and will never stop trying to pick another paltry dollar from a person’s pocket. I see what’s offered in return by and to some of my fellow peasants- xenophobia and racism, bellicosity and cruelty.

I have some things to say about that.